Archive for March, 2010

Michael Jackson’s Bodyguards Body Language Shows Signals of Discomfort Discussing Michael’s Love Life as They ” Set the Record Straight” For Their Own Personal Gain

Thursday, March 11th, 2010

 TRUSTED BODYGUARDS?

I am very troubled by three ex body guards  Bill Whitfield, Mike Garcia ,and  Javon Beard, whom Michael Jackson  entrusted with his most intimate secrets, now  revealing  very personal information about Michael and his children  after his death.  Based on all that we know about  Michael’s desire for privacy and protection for his children, here is no question that Michael would have been 100 per cent  against what these bodyguards are doing .

orThey openly admit they plan to write a book which they plan to call “In Defense of the King.” So they are apparently out there now fishing for a publisher in their attempt to cash in big time on Michael’s death if their book is sold.  Based on how they came across body language –wise  and what they said“setting the record straight” in  speaking out on Michael’s behalf, it seems to me that it is  merely a ploy for them to fill their pockets and cash in on Michaels death.

THEY ARE NOT  TELLING US ANYTHING WE DON’T ALREADY KNOW FROM MEDIA ACCOUNTS

They are not really telling us anything we don’t already know. We know a lot of the information they have divulged, like how polite and smart Michael’s kids are  based on media accounts and by the accounts of those who have interacted with the children. 

They admit that they only worked with Michael for 2 years. So there are things which may or may not have taken place prior to those 2 years which they are not privy. Therefore, they may not know everything they are claim to know about Michael. 

THEY ARE TELLING US  IS THAT THEY ARE UNPROFESSIONAL AND CANNOT BE TRUSTED

Who are these “bodyguards” to set the record straight about Michael?  Who made them Michael’s spokespeople. I am sure that Michael would be livid if he knew they were doing this. These men were paid employees who needed to keep their mouths shut about Michael and his family whether he was alive or not.

 I have no doubt with Michael’s intelligence and savvy, not to mention his  having been burned by others in the past, that he would have made them sign some type of confidentiality  agreement. I hope that those in charge of his estate will come across those agreements and stop these three in their tracks. 

TROLLING FOR A PUBLISHER

The only reason they came forth  now and put their faces in front of the media is in my view to troll for a book deal. They even have  a title picked out for the book before it is written. They want to see how much interest there is. That is they spilled the beans now.

But obviously they aren’t  that savvy or as clever as they think.  They told way too much already.  No publisher in their right mind would give them a book deal and expect the book to fly off the shelves. Why? Because  they already revealed everything  already in Ashley Banfield’s  very thorough ABC  interview where she left no stone unturned. left no she unturned. So who needs a a book? We know all they have to say.  You get your face in front of the media AFTER you have a book deal and have written it in order to PROMOTE it.

So if they did get  a book deal, wrote the book or had someone write it for them,  and then  appeared on TV again to promote it would be OLD news. No one is interested  in what they have to say anymore.

 WERE THEY TELLING THE TRUTH?

Although I found each of them despicable for getting on front of the media and sharing Michael’s personal  life which he guarded so privately, to the point of wearing masks and disguises and having his kids do likewise,  I wanted to  scrutinize any  “tells” which may have given away their true  motives . I also wanted to see if there were any” tells” of deception or nervousness or discomfort.

It was interesting to watch all three of them sitting together as they were interviewed. It was also interesting to watch them separately  in order to see if one or more showed signals of deception .

For the most part, they were in all synch. Whether it was rehearsed or not, they were all on the same page.  For the most part it seemed like they were telling the truth.  But I think they told way too much of the truth. They had no business revealing the details about the kids and their behavior, especially the description of Princes behavior when he tried to manipulate cookies out of them.  This was not setting the record straight. This was setting their sights straight on to a potential book deal to make money for themselves.

RED FLAG TELLS OF DISCOMFORT   ABOUT MICHEAL’S PEDOPHILIA ALLEGATIONS  AND REALTIONSHIPS WITH WOMEN

There was one area where they were clearly uncomfortable and it showed in their body language. It was when they were discussing  their views on Michael’s alleged pedophilia. Their body language showed that they  over compensated by giving way to much information. They were asked if Michael was a pedophile. Then bodyguard  Bill Whitfield  says that he’s a man and he knows that Michael is interested in women just like he is. You can see his facial expression change as he looks away and his forehead get’s furrowed. He also pulls his head back and there is a shoulder shrug . This indicates signals of discomfort.

 Mike Garcia also shows signals of discomfort when the “pedophilia” question comes up. He shakes his leg indicating “I want to get out of here.”

The three gave way too much information as Bill speaks about curtains in the limousine being  drawn in the back of a limo, and sucking noises being made.  To say this was inappropriate on their behalf is an understatement. The question was about pedophilia.  All they needed to say was they didn’t witness any acts of pedophilia or that it was their opinion that Michael wasn’t a pedophile. But their going off on a tangent and talking about Michael’s  girlfriends was a red flag.  One had nothing to do with another. Their over compensated answers in giving too detailed information made it seem like they  both “doth protest too much”.

I am not saying that they think Michael is or isn’t  a pedophile. I am saying that they showed signals of discomfort when this topic was brought up by Ashley Banfield.

Other than that, there body languages showed that they were open and they seemed forthright. When they answered, most of the time all three of them appeared to answer in unison. With the exception of the time they discussed Michael’s  intimate life, where they showed major signals of discomfort, they   sat  confidently with their legs apart in an open position with upright straight posture with their  heads  erect.

MICHAEL VENTED TO THEM  PRIVATELY NOT PUBLICALLY

Bill Whitfield said that there were times that Michael vented and “vented loudly” I cringed. Michael  may have vented loudly but he did it  privately. Michael  projected an image of a person who was always kind with a loving soul.  He never showed anger in public. He worked hard at getting that image across. So to hear them say Michael “vented loudly” is to take away from the public image that Michael worked so hard to cultivate. If he “vented loudly” he did it only for their ears- not the public’s  As Bill  said this I automatically cringed.

 While these men  are not doctors or health or legal professionals who have to abide by the  law to keep secrets ( unless they signed a non -disclosure clause before working with Michael) technically they don’t have to keep quiet about Michael. But  ethically I believe  it is a different matter. I believe that they should keep things about Michael confidential in his death just as they did in his life.

Michael trusted them with his life and his kids and as Bill Whitfield said, they became more than security.  Javon Beard interjected that they were more like personal assistants and Mike Garcia said that it was not their job but since there was no entourage it was just them, they hand to handle everything.

 IF MICHAEL HATED HIS VEGAS HOME BECAUSE OF PAPPS, WHY DIDN’T THE BODYGUARDS DO ANYTHING TO STOP THE PAPPS AND FANS ?

I think that it was way too much information to reveal that Michael hated his Vegas mansion because of all the papps. If these men  were HIS  bodyguards as they claim to be,  why didn’t they keeps the papps AND FANS away? Why didn’ they do whatever it took to make sure Michael had the best security so that the papps and fans wouldn’t  invade his home ? That statement alone turned me off.

THEY ALL BELIEVE MICHAEL AS AN AWSOME DAD

When asked if he was a good dad, they all replied in unison awesome!  Their body language  showed that all three of them strongly believed that Michael was a great dad.  Mike Garcia shared how the children would constantly say I Love you daddy and that they were like the four buddies as  Bill Whitfield appropriately shook his head yes and smiled a huge genuine smile.

They also spoke of how protective he was of his kids seeing his bad press as he turned over newspapers so the kids wouldn’t see negative headlines about him. It showed that Michael’s first and foremost concern was for  his kids.

They also nooded and spoke in unison as to Michael’s being successful at shielding his kids from the media.  Each one’s  body language were in synch as they appered to be  in agreement that Michael didn’t think what he did was weird. In fact Javon shook his head “no”   as confirmation while Bill Whitfield explained this. 

REVEALING  INAPPROPRIATE  INFORMATION ABOUT THE KIDS

They spoke of the kids with pride as there were genuine smiles as they said that the kids were regular kids and how they  were very polite and well mannered, something we have all herd before. All three of them shook their heads  “yes”  in agreement as this information was relayed.

But then when they showed a note Paris wrote to Bill thanking him for getting cat food, I though that was a bit too invasive. Even if it was a polite gesture, I don’t know how Paris would feel about having her personal handwritten note to Bill  exposed for the world to see. It was for Bill not for the world to see with her little heart over the “I” as she signed her name Paris.  I didn’t think that was necessary to do.

Then Javon also revealed WAY too much information as he shared how Prince would say “ Daddy wants you to get some cookies for us, indicating their mischief  in tricking the bodyguards into getting them cookies. I dounnt these kids or Michael would want that information exposed.  This is exactly what Michael hated. He didn’t want anything personal about these kids revealed and there is no doubt Michael would deem  this story about Prince as being WAY too personal in nature.  

Then he added that he asked Michael (the client) if he wanted him to go get some cookies for the kids and in a loud voice, Javon  mimicked what Michael would say “ Prince get up here!” “Why are you telling them that?”

While it showed that Michael set limits and boundaries for the kids, it was still way too much information  about the kids that we don’t need to know. Unless the kids decide to speak about their experiences with their dad or write a book, no one has any right discussing them.

If these kids were paraded around like some others have been by their parents  and publically expoised and exploited as  many have mentioned. Then perhaps they would be fair game, but not in this situation. Michael went out of his way to  shield his kids from the press at all times.  Therefore,  I believe these body guards have broken the confidence of their client by sharing intimate personal stories about the kids like this one which may not put Prince in the best light.

FAST FOOD RUNS WITH MICHAEL

They also shared how Michael liked to go through the drive through at fast food places  with the kids. I found that unacceptable as they shared what Michael said  as he ordered the meal which was” If these people only know who ordered the meal.”

Both Bill and Javon said it in unison so there was no doubt based on other body language signals as well that this  was definitely  a true incident. But maybe Michel didn’t want the word to know that he fed his kids fast foods or that he even ate fast foods. Maybe he wouldn’t want his private comment shared.  Maybe it was his one personal moment to feel like a normal person and order fast food without anyone knowing. Maybe that was his personal little thrill . They had no right to share this personal moment with anyone in my view..

What the bodyguards said was true as they once again spoke in unison that people “never knew that Michael Jackson was the one ordering  the food.  In fact Javan imitated Michael ‘s high voice as said “ One cheeseburger please” While there is no doubt they were all telling the truth, there is even less doubt that Michael would have wanted this information revealed to the world.

 PEDOPHILE RUMORS

Something really strange happened body language wise when Ashley Banfield asked them if they thought Michael  was a pedophile?  They were clearly uncomfortable with this question as each one of them squirmed and had various body language tells which illustrated their discomfort with this area of questioning.

Why did they show such signals of discomfort? Only they know. Michael  may or may not have been a pedophile and Michael was the only one who could attest to those allegations. Just for the record a person can still like women and have girlfriends and  still be a pedophile. Look at how many married men with families who are even pillars of their community. Look at all the married pedophiles with their own families who have been caught on NBC’s “To Catch a Predator.”

They very well may  or may not have seen any evidence that Michael was a pedophile during the two years they spent with him.  I am not saying that Michael is or isn’t a pedophile but these body guards may not know for sure. Their discomfort was very visible in their body language as this was the first time throughout the entire interview that they weren’t as confident verbally, vocally or body language-wise.

As examples of what I am saying, bodyguard Mike Garcia pursed his lip and moved around more, Bill Whitfield looked down, and Javon Beard  had a tight  ingenuine smile, unlike his previous smiles throughout the interview.  

MICHAEL’S NOISES  IN BACK OF THE LIMO WITH A WOMAN

How dare them discuss that there was a curtain in the backseat of the limo and that Michael was with a girlfriend back there.  Rule number one of any limo driver, let alone any body guard is shut up about your client’s intimate goings on.

 As this story was revealed there was an observed shoulder shrug. That is a signal of deception. There was also a nervous smile- another signal of deception as well as discomfort, In their attempt to set the record straight, they gave way too much information that I am sure Michael would have objected to. If he wanted anyone to know he was with a woman at any time, he would have shown her publically. If the curtain was allegedly drawn he obviously didn’t want anyone to know who he was with or what they were doing.

Then Ashley being the great interviewer that she is remarked “it’s like  you were chaperoning two teenagers back there making out ”. She was simply probing to see where they would go with it.  They shook their heads and agreed as it was a way out for them. Then the unconscionable happened. Bill  revealed that he heard loud sucking noises as his eyebrows were raised. This made me suspicious as to whether this incident really happened? Since  Michael was as  shy and paranoid about anyone knowing his business in a limo I am sure that he would have a limo with a sound proof glass partition. I have never seen a limo with only a mere curtain and I have ridden in many limos in my lifetime.  

MICHAEL’S BANAIDS WERE NOT HIS  DISGUISE AS A”BURN VICTIM”

When  Bill said that Michael’s bandages were worn for him to be disguised as a “burn victim” I knew for sure that they were full of it. Even Bill knew that he was full of it  as his body language showed his head jerking back and eyebrows being furrowed and looking away.

Michael wore many bandages around his face because of the numerous office surgeries and Botox and Restalyn treatments he had at Dr. Klein’s office, his dermatologist that often left bruising on various areas of his face. The band aids were to cover up the bruises. If Bill was around Michael as much as he said he was or escorted him to the doctor in the limo, he would have seen the brusing and  the redness and swelling.

They were not worn as a disguise for him to appear as a burn patient. If that was the case Michael would have wrapped his whole head in gauze or worn a silicone  burn mask.  

Then when Ashley proved and asked why they didn’t ask why Michael was “disguised like that,” Javon said “How can you tell him that?” He’s coming down with the kids, how can I say,  What the hell have you got on sir?”

Javon’s statement as well has his referring to Michael as “sir”  shows that he respected the boundaries with Michael as his “client” which he referred to earlier. This means he respected his “client” to not interfere, judge or question what he was doing. In my view he needed to show that same respect now and not reveal anything about his “client” no that he is no longer with us.

In my view one has to treat someone who has died with the same respect they treated them when they were alive. If they kept their confidences when the person was alive they need to do the same thing now that the person is dead and no longer here to defend themselves or to sue for defamation.  

TALKING ABOUT MICHAEL’S DRUG PROBLEM

When Bill revealed that it appeareard that Michael was on something indicating that  Michael was on drugs I thought this was out of line.  If this was the case and he was his body guard, why didn’t he do something to help his “client?” After all he was supposed to protect his client at all costs. If Michael was drugged up as Bill said, how could Michael function properly as the  “good father? ”If his client was so out of it, why didn’t he try to get his “client” some help? Why didn’t he encourage his client to get help?

The answer is obvious. He needed the job and the money  didn’t want to make waves so he turned a blind eye. The operative word here is “money.” To me this is what this is all about. It sickens me that anyone who was entrusted to caring about a person and protecting them  in life, would now peddle that same person’s dead flesh in hopes of scoring a  book deal and making money off of them. http://www.drlillianglass.com

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Whitney Houston’s Touching Body Language With Daughter on Her Birthday

Sunday, March 7th, 2010

l am always touched whenever I see body language that reflects love and affection between mothers and daughters. Perhaps it is because I love my own mother so much I love to see others share the same love. So when I saw the love between Whitney and her daughter  Bobbi Kristina I was deeply moved.

Whitney was in Adelaide Austrailia on her tour  when she stopped her concert to sing a beautiful song to her daughter called “Who Would Imagine A King.” Whitney’s voice was angelic  as she sang it  this song  to her daughter who was a bit embarrassed by all the attention as you can see by her protective body language where she crossed her body with her arms.

Then Whitney invited beautiful  Bobbi Kristina who just turned 17  to come up on stage as a birthday cake was wheeled out for her, thereby surprising her.

Then she went on stage and hugged several of the singers and musicians until she was embraced in her mother’s arms. They had  a lengthy loving birthday hug. It was beautiful! Whitney couldn’t let go of her and even shed a few tears.

Happy Birthday Bobbi Kristina and Welcome Back Whitney! www.drlillianglass.com

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Kate Gosselin’s Body Language Shows Poise and A Softer Side on Jimmy Kimmel Live

Friday, March 5th, 2010

After watching Kate Gosselin on Jimmy Kimmel Live the other night I can say that she is coming across a lot more polished and a lot more poised. She looked absolutely beautiful with her softer hairstyle, toned body and gorgeous dress.  Her posture was excellent. This was clearly  her best  television appearance  yet. She was actually very pleasant, cordial and laughed appropriately at Jimmy’s jokes and at herself. She was even humble when she said she couldn’t dance.

But then at the end when she said”  I am  going to win,” it seemed like it was right back to the old Kate. If she hadn’t said that, I would have rated her performance on Kimmel Live as a near perfect. She needed to say that she would try her best and hope that she would win, not that she will win. Being  cocky like that does not put anyone in a good light, let alone Kate.  Kate really needs to work on her humility in my view. If she does that, she will be so much more appealing to audiences.

 There are obviously some changes taking place with her not only on the outside but on the inside as well. No doubt her handlers  are working to get her more likeable  and camera ready for her upcoming show.

 That is no doubt why she is doing Dancing With the Stars- one of the highest rated shows. It will let more people see her who haven’t seen her and it will allow those who have seen her to see her in a different light-hopefully in a better light.

At first I was concerned that she would be doing a show that demanded so much and that she would be away from her kids. But she explained on Kimmel Live that her partner (Tony Davolani) will be coming to her home in Pennsylvania to work with her in her basement so she won’t be away from the kids. Then she will be coming to LA once a week to do the show. I think that is GREAT! Being away from her kids for so many weeks was my main concern for her in doing DWTS. But now I think it will work out well.

Kate also mentioned how positive Tony is. That is exactly the type of person Kate needs to be around. Perhaps some of his positivity and kindness towards others will rub off on her. There was no doubt that being around Jon for all of those years brought out the worst in her and vice versa.

After witnessing Jon’s immature and self-destructive behavior and how he treated his girlfriends, it is no wonder that Kate had so many issues with him.

Hopefully her being around a positive kind dancing partner like Tony will  contribute to the positive changes that seem to be taking place with Kate. http://www.drlillianglass.com/

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Jermaine Jackson Shows Many Signals of Deception While Trying to Cover Up for Son Jafar in Dutch TV Interview

Friday, March 5th, 2010

Jermain Jackson’s interview on Dutch TV showed numerous signals of deception. These these signals included lengthy pause time,  out of sync phrasing, shoulder shrugs and long pauses between words, breathing,  upper  chest breathing, shaking his head “no” when he should be shaking it “yes,” mask-like pulled back nervous disingenuous smile, and  “um’s,”” ang uh’s”,  head jerking. and drawn out vowels.

Therefore,  it appears to me that Jermaine Jackson is clearly showing signals of deception in an attempt to cover up for his 13 year old son Jafar. Allegedly Jafar was chasing  Michael Jackson’s youngest son Blanket around the house with a Stun Gun which he purchased online.

In Jermain’s attempt to cover to Jafar, he implicates himself by saying that Jafar was buying a Stun Gun for him and that he knew about it!  I doubt that was the case ? What kind of parenting is that? How in their right mind would let their 13 year old son but them a Stun Gun over the Internet?   

JERMAIN’S EXACT WORDS AND DR. GLASS’ COMMENTARY

Here are Jermain’s exact words from the interview. In parentheses you will see the  signals of deception that he exhibited

That’s not true there was no accident.” That was my son.” (upper chest breathing- signal of  deception ready to take place next). “He was,  he was (repetition- signal of  deception) getting this , this (repletion, signal of deception)  little  thing ( minimization of not saying what this “”little thing” was—-a STUN GUN!!!) As Jermaine says this he has a tight mask-like smile indicating deception.

As Jermain says he was getting this little this little thing forME. His voice gets louder to emphasize the word ME and he suddenly jerks his head down into his chest which indicates deception. It is no doubt that the “little thing (STUN GUN) was NOT  purchased for him but for his son.  

Then Jermain turns away as he tries to blame put the blame on the press and says in a very slow labored speech pattern,  “Some how some one alerted the press and it got out of hand  and there was no encounter with Blanket or anything” ( said with a mask like smile indicating deception). What does he mean by “ no encounter with Blanket ( a person)  or any thing? “ The fact that he added the word “any THING” after mentioning Blanket is yet another signal of deception. It is too much information. If someone was being forthright they would have stopped after the word “Blanket.” They would have said without a mask-like smile “ Nothing happened to Blanket.”

Then Jermain goes on and gives way too much information, clearly another signal of deception.

“ But my son feels very very bad  (repetition as a signal of deception)  (upper chest breathing indicating deception), because he told me (  his pitch of voice suddenly goes up) that he was going to get me something online ( shoulder shrug – a signal of deception along with shaking his head “no” as he says this indicating yet another signal of deception)”  that  before we left to come out here and uh (signal of deception along with  upper chest breathing indicating further  deception)  it got out (drawing out the vowel for longer than normal indicating deception)  of hand ( THIS MAKES NO SENSE!!! When something makes no sense the person is most likely not telling the truth) 

Also why was Jafar feeling very very bad? You say it is because he told you that he was going to get you something online.” Was he feeling bad because he used your gift  which you  claim  he was getting you on line to scare his baby cousin?  Was he  feeling “very very bad” becasue his gift was a surprise for you and after he used your alleged gift to chase around his cousin, it was no longer a surprise- that you learned your gift was a stun gun?

 Then Jermain continues “Somehow it got out  out”   (repletion  indicating signal of deception as he is also  shaking his head “no” when when should be shaking it “yes” as another signal of deception) of hand. But but ( repletion) Blanket is fine….”
What got out of hand? Was it the fact that Jafar was allegedly chasing Blanket around with a stun gun and frightening this innocent child? Was it the fact that Dept., of Child Services Spent 6 and ½ hours at the home? And what in the world was a 13 year old doing buying you a STUN GUN? Why in the wqorld would you need a STUN GUN? Who were you planning to STUN with your GUN? And  the fact you said you KNEW that Jafar was buying you a “little something” like a STUN GUN online and you allowed it is unconscionable and speaks to your parenting!!!

 You, Jermain, would have been much better off to tell the truth instead of your BS spin.

Why didn’t you just come out and say” I am appalled at what happened. I am appalled that my 13 year old son bought a STUN GUN on line. I have discussed this with him and he has been reprimanded and dealt with for his unacceptable behavior.

But to say that he bought this STUN GUN for you and that you knew about it is completely  ridiculous.

Little Blanket has been through so much that the last thing in the world he needs is to be traumatized by his cousin, your son. The last thing he needs is to experience fear of being STUNNED by A GUN!  No child should have to experience this. It is abusive behavior! If this is the case, I say he and his brother Prince and sister Paris should not be living in the same household as you or  Jafar. http://www.drlillianglass.com/

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PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR OWN BODY LANGUAGE CHANGES AND AVOID BUSINESS AND SOCIAL DISASTERS

Monday, March 1st, 2010

What thrills me the most about doing my Body Language Blog is when I get feedback from people telling me that  they learn  so much from my posts in terms of reading body language.  That is my aim. When you understand the language of the body, face, voice, and speech content, a whole world opens up to you.

By focusing on the  body language of newsmakers who everyone sees in videos and in photos, it allows me to show you clear examples of the various body language signals during specific actions by celebrities, sports figures, political figures, and even criminals that reveal what they are really thinking and saying. It allows me to show you what is really going on between the headlines.

My posts are not meant to be mean or insulting. They are simply meant to show what is really going on from a behavioral and  body language perspective based on what my decades of research, my extensive education in various fields,  and decades of experience. Through my  observations of  people’s body language and voice and communication skills, my aim is that perhaps you can apply some of those observations to people you know in your own life.

So aside from discussing specific celebrities and their body language, from time to time I will give you some general information about various aspects of body language, facial language, the voice, and speech patterns in hopes that it will give you an additional perspective that you can apply ion your own life.  

In today’s blog I will discuss the importance of your paying close attention to your own body signals whenever you interact with anyone in your life. This can be very helpful in those with whom you do business or with those whom you socialize.

YOUR OWN BODY LANGUAGE AWARENESS CAN GUIDE YOU IN BUSINESS AND SOCIALLY

Today,  things happen  with such rapid speed that the expression  it is no longer “ yesterday’s news. Instead, it is ten seconds ago news. Things happen so rapidly that you always have to keep aware of the mercurial changes that not only happen in the world in general, but in your personal world. You have to keep tabs of the slightest  mercurial changes that happen within your own body as you interact with people.

These little warning signs must NEVER be ignored! They tell you a lot about what is really going on at the moment. They tell you how you are feeling about what is happening now!

Let’s say you are in a business meeting or on a date and you just felt a sudden unpleasant queasiness in your stomach as you were discussing something. Let’s say you feel your body tensing up or your breathing gets more shallow and you notice that your shoulders are raised! Pay close attention, as it tells you point blank that something isn’t quite right. DO NOT IGNORE IT!

                              PAY ATTENTION TO THESE SPECIFIC BODY, FACIAL, AND VOCAL CHANGES:

Here are some bodily changes that may tell you something is amiss somewhere.

1.stomach cramping and pain

2. headache

3. shallow breathing with lots of upper shoulder movement

4. tension and rigidity in your body

5. your hand cupped into fist like position indicating that you are angry

6. leaning you head and body away from the person

7.  tension in your brow and forehead

8. squinting

9. pursed lips

10, throat clearing

11. your pitch gets higher when you are speaking

12. you find yourself clamming up

13. tension in your throat area

14. tension in your jaw.

15. your shoulders are raised

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU NOTICE THESE CHANGES

NEVER overlook these changes in your body and facial  language and in your voice patterns. Whenever you notice them immediately, STOP! LOOK! And  LISTEN to what the person with whom you are doing business or socializing is REALLY saying to you.

STOP! Take a breath in. Hold it for a few seconds and then slowly release it. This allows a homeostatic balance to take place in your system. It allows you to oxygenate yourself and helps you to gain more control over the situation and to think more clearly.

LOOK ! As you slowly release the air from your mouth, take the person in visually. Observe their facial expressions. Are they frowning? Are the looking away from you? Are they exhibiting certain body language tells that indicate they may not be forthright with you? Do they lean away from you? Do they rock back and forth? Are their feet pointed in the opposite direction or tapping indicting they can’t wait to get away from you?

LISTEN! Pay close attention to how they sound when they speak. Do you notice that they attack their sounds?  Do you notice they say “ um”, “like um”  “you know”or “and” a lot. Do they suddenly stammer and seem uneasy when speaking to you?

       ASK QUESTIONS TO KNOW WHERE YOU STAND- DON’T KEEP ANYTHING  BOTTLED UP INSIDE OF YOU

If you notice something isn’t right, ASK  QUESTIONS to find out where you stand. You may ask them to clarify what they are saying so that you can pick up even more cures from them in terms of what is really going on. You even be very direct as you ask if there is a problem or an issue that needs to be addressed. 

The bottom line is don’t keep it in an let you ill feelings fester. That is what leads to miscommunication. You can even be 100 per cent honest with them and say that something doesn’t feel right or that you are not comfortable with what they said.

Handle you discomfort about a situation immediately and never let it build up!  In doing so, you will find a sense of  physical as well as mental relief. If they refuse to discuss the issue, then they have in essence told you a lot about themselves. If they become angry or hostile it also speaks to the situation at hand.

ACT RIGHT AWAY TO AVOID MISCOMMUNICATION

The bottom line is that whenever your own  body language, facial language or voice  gives you a signal something isn’t right- pay attention and deal with it right away! Sometimes it may be a simple misunderstanding and other times it may signify a huge problem in your business or social interaction.

If you would like to find out more about body language, I have a lot of products and services that can assist you personally. Just go to http://www.drlillianglass.com/products/

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