Posts Tagged ‘communication skills’

Did Ronni Chasen’s Agressive Communication and Body Language Anger Someone Who May Have Murdered Her?

Wednesday, December 1st, 2010

The question on most people’s minds in the entertainment industry as well as those who live or work in Beverly Hills is who killed publicist Ronni Chasen and why?  Was she specifically targeted or is everyone in danger in Beverly Hills?

CRIME LIKE THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN IN BEVERLY HILLS

In a town where there is little crime and no murders in 2009,  people are very frightened and on edge.  The reason people are so spooked is because there is little to no crime here. That is due to the Beverly Hills Police Department, who is next to none. They are the crème de la crème.

They watch this town like a hawk with surveillance cars and constant patrolling and monitoring. If they are called for any 911 emergency, they will promptly be at the scene within 60 to 150 seconds. So that is all the more reason people are freaked out by what happened to Ronni Chasen.

POSSIBLE THEORIES FLOATING AROUND AS TO WHY RONNI WAS MURDERED

There have been many theories floating around as to the motive of killing Ronni Chasen from

a) a gang initiation

b) a professionally jealous colleague jealous of her successful Oscar campaigns

c) someone whom she leaked bad press about to media outlets that cost them a relationship or a business deal

d) someone who wanted to stop her from doing her job,  which was to create publicity campaigns in an attempt to persuade the judges of film awards like The Oscars to choose her clients above the rest which would result in big money

e) gambling debts and refusing to pay up

f) someone whom she cut off in traffic six minutes before she was killed because she was talking on her cell phone and leaving a “to do list” on the other end while perhaps not paying attention to the road

g) an art deal gone wrong

h) a mob killing linked to investors on one of her many movies

i) a psychopathic serial killer on the loose

j)        a disgruntled  former client

k)        a disgruntled  former employee or housekeeper

j) someone whom she snubbed, disrespected,  humiliated,  belittled or  screamed and yelled at because they didn’t do  what she wanted or do things her way

PR PRAISES ABOUT RONNI FROM THE TOP OF THE LINE PR PROS

When it was first in the press that Ronni has been murdered  only her fellow PR colleagues like top of the line veteran PR people like Paul Bloch, Stan Rosenfeld, Howard Bragman, and Michael Levine spoke out and sang her praises in true Hollywood PR fashion.

They  stated  that she was the sweetest woman alive and that everyone loved her and she had no enemies. Powerful Hollywood journalist Nikki Finke spoke  lovingly and kindly as did other journalists who were interviewed.

But as the days have passed, while her clients have also  attempted to say positive things   about her in the press, they also  managed to  leaked out another side to Ronni’s persona that may give us some insight into her personality which may have alienated the wrong person.

THE OTHER SIDE OF RONNI REVEALED BY FRIENDS AND COLLEAGUES

Here are some  other revealing comments and descriptions  from her clients, friends  and colleagues:

She was persistent” Peter Hamond

doggedly determined”person Eddie Kalish

“She was known for her “fast-talking, old school, New York aggressiveness on behalf of her clients and was not a person one quickly forgot after meeting. Peter Goldstein

Songwriter Diane Warren paints a picture of a publicist who was determined to get what she wanted and who was  ”fiercely protective” of her clients.

When it came to Ronni getting a photo op with celebrities Diane reported  Ronni said” “(Chasen) goes, ‘I don’t care what I have to do – I’m getting that picture,’ ” Warren explains. “That was Ronni — she had something she wanted to do… and she got that picture.” “She really cared, her clients were like family to her,” says Warren. “She’d tell you what to do and people listened to her.”

At her funeral service her  turbocharged drive in a segment of the business never known for the faint of heart was mentioned. Eulogists all described Chasen’s forceful personality.

At the funeral service her close friend Vivian Mayer-Siskind’s seemingly lighthearted comment  about Ronni revealed even more about her and her personality that some would not find so  appealing as she said “Ronni came to me last night and was pissed as hell. ‘Now you get me a free Armani suit.’

Perhaps the most revealing insight into Ronni Chasen;s personality came from Producer Irwin Winkler of Rocky fame who said that when his 2004 film “De-Lovely” was not nominated for a Golden Globe, Chasen “was furious.”

“She screamed and yelled at (members of) the Hollywood Foreign Press (Assn.),” the group that puts on the annual awards show, Winkler told The Times.

While she may have been consistently pleasant to her friends and colleagues  and  described as fiercely protective over her  clients who clearly  paid her large amounts of money, the real question is  how was she to others who were not  A list paying stars or movie studio executives?

DID SHE YELL AND SCREAM AT THE WRONG PERSON?

While friends colleague and clients may have appreciated her being pushy and having too much chutzpah,  and sense of entitlement, traits that obviously work in Hollywood,  perhaps there were others who were equally so put off with her  relentless behavior, that they may have found her  to be one of the most Toxic People.

When someone yells and screams at others like Irwin Winkler  reported Ronni  did to the Hollywood Foreign press because her client didn’t get nominated for an award,  it makes you wonder about who else she yelled at because she didn’t get her way or get what she wanted.

Did she scream and yell at the wrong person? Did she humiliate them? Did they harbor such ill feelings  towards her and allow them to fester to the point  they wanted her dead? Did they hate her that much that they took their fantasy of wanting her dead and turned  it a reality by driving up to her car  and shooting her five times in the chest?

SHOOTING SOMEONE 5 TIMES IN THE CHEST SIGNIFIES SEVERE HATRED TOWARDS THE PERSON

Apparently she had been shot while traveling to her home in Westwood  after attending the premiere of Burlesque, a new film starring Cher, and an after-party at the W hotel. The person or people who shot her obviously had such disdain for her that they shot her in the chest not one time- but five times.

That screams of hatred and rage. In a random drive by shooting there would usually be one shot. But for someone to keep their finger on the trigger and shoot five times, it means they were  furious with her. They wanted to make sure she was dead!

While we know that the shooting was from one car to another, as of today there are still no suspects, no motive, no witnesses according to Beverly Hills Police Department Lt. Tony Lee.  So the mystery remains.

The one thing that gives hope  in solving this tragedy is that the well respected  Beverly Hills Police Department is on top of it and they will leave no stone unturned until the killer or killers of Ronni Chasen  are found.www.drlillianglass.com

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Kate Gosselin’s Disdainful Body Language and Ugly Verbal Digs Towards Jon Can Do Irreparable Emotional Damage to the 8 Kids

Monday, September 13th, 2010

LIKE IT OR NOT KATE SEEMS TO BE  HERE TO STAY

  With two television shows on TLC, View, Emmy, and DWTS appearances under her belt and a huge PR machine behind her, whether you love her or hate her Kate  Gosselin  appears to be here to  stay. She’s here to stay for  one reason and one reason only- she brings in eyeballs viewer’s eyeballs. Those fans who love her, watch her because they love her. Those fans who hate her often want to see  what she will do next.  Then there are those who are curious. They  watch her to see what all the fuss is about. As long as she gets eyeballs watching her, she is here to stay. When the eyeballs turn away to another channel, Kate Gosselin will be nothing more than a faded  memory. TLC is her guardian angel and  they have invested a lot of money on star building this “itless” persona. Some TLC  exceutive or “suit” as they are called  in the business thought it would be a good idea to make Kate a star, so they set forth on that quest.

They made her look great but that is about it. She can’t act, sing, dance, has no expertise . Please don’t tell me that she is an expert on  motherhood. Popping fertility drugs and having sextuplets does not make one  an expert  in parenting or child rearing. Getting an advanced education in the subject,  where you are aware of all the nuances in the scientific literature  gives you that expertise ,  along with experience of working with a lot of different children that do not happen to be your own  offspring. 

 She cannot host because she is way too consumed with  Kate. Also the smarminess, entitlement, selfishness,  anger, sarcasm, hostility, and inner  hatred that  leaks out with consistency is so deep-rooted that it will be very difficult to get  that  under control without years and years of the therapy.In my view that is who she is. She demonstrated  it in her original show, DWTS, on many  talk shows on which she appeared,  and most recently on Regis and Kelly.

Why was Kate on Regis and Kelly when she had nothing to promote?  She was no doubt put there by her PR  minions where TLC  is obviously the helm. She was on the show for one reason only- damage control!

Why would esteemed Anderson Cooper ask her those obviously  pointed questions if he was not fed those questions by her team?  It was no doubt done to was clearly done to  spin it Kate’s way . It  was obvious that the questions could be answered by her in a way to make Jon look bad and make her look good. It was done to  quell the recent hoopla that appeared all over the internet where all the hysterical sextuplets  were clearly  heard sobbing at the top of their lungs and wailing.  hey didn’t want daddy to leave and they appeared terrified  to go home to Kate.

PRETTY IS AS PRETTY DOES AND KATE’S BEHAVIOR ON REGIS AND KELLY WAS NOT PRETTY

 Even though she has pulled it together with  awesome makeup complete with red glossy lips , a  toned  body with muscular arms ,  and a  beautiful face, I am still of the school that  pretty is a pretty does” and there are too many instances when I believe Kate’s behavior just hasn’t been pretty.

When a parent tries to pit their kids between them and their ex,  it is time for me to speak up. That is exactly what Kate did on Regis and Kelly. She pitted her children against  her  and Jon by trashing him in front of millions. And don’t tell me he did the same to her on national TV. That was then and this is now. And two wrongs don’t make a right. It was immature and hateful on BOTH of their parts. But now that over a year has gone by it is clear that she needs to speak about her hatred and anger towards Jon to a therapist, not to Kelly and Anderson in front of millions of people.

It makes her look disturbed, bitter, immature,  and very UGLY inside and out.  Her  anger at Jon’s past behavior with his cheating, running off at the mouth on national TV, and acting irresponsible is misdirected.  Instead, she  needs to take a good look at herself and her role in abusing this poor guy to the point he had enough and went off the deep end. Yes, years of constant emotional abuse  can make a person behave as we saw Jon behave.  

MESSAGE TO ALL KATE FANATICS

And please to all you Kate fanatics who take it as a personal affront when anyone says anything that may not be music to you eyes or ears about Kate.  I say  the  following to you:

 If you are such a good and loyal  fan of Kate’s then you need to  be a real friend and a fan and let your friend know when they are messing up. You need to send Kate a message that she is messing up her children emotionally, by acting the way she did on Regis and Kelly.

I don’t want to hear about  what you think about my credibility. After the education, background, and experience I have and the years I have devoted to the study and analysis of body language,  I can assure you that I am credible enough  be used by top media outlets around the world and in law enforcement an in the legal field  and to have been a qualified witness in both state and federal courts. So I am not concerned with what you think of my credibility simply because I add my opinions to my body language analyses. That is what blogs are for- to give your opinions.

And please don’t waste my time telling me I am writing about Kate  because I am jealous of her or I want to enhance my own populatity.   I am jealous of no one. And just for the record, I have been around  well before there was a Kate Gosselin on television.  And as far as popularity goes, I have millions of books around the world that bear my name. So I don’t need Kate Gosselin to enhance my notoriety or for people to read my blog.  Thousands of people read my blogs each day with or without Kate Gosselin as the  subject matter.

KHATE’S ANGRY JAW

Substitute host  Anderson Cooper asked if her relationship with Jon was as contentious as it appears to be.  Kate  nodded her head yes and tightened up her jaw and let out a hissing  snake like sound as she said Itssss ya now. She then shrugged her shoulders and let loose with her first jab towards Jon. You can really see the anger and hatred Kate holds towards Jon. It’s in her jaw. Look at the enormous tension . There is so much tension and anger that you see  dimpling. In addition, look at how her lips are pulled back in anger. When a person harbors hatred and anger it is readily seen in their lower jaw as we see with Kate.

In typical Kate form  as she continues to remind us how good she is and how bad Jon is she jabbed “ I do try to keep it as peaceful as possible. I’ll speak for myself , How’s that?”

I’ll tell you how that was Kate.  It was awful!  It was  unnecessary and downright nasty. You did not have to go  there!   And you said he is the kids father. STOP ! End of Sentence! Stop the facial contortions and snide smarminess. It makes you look small and petty and downright UGLY.All the enhancements that were done to you physically mean nothing if you act bitchy, witchy, and snitchy.

Then in order to make herself   look good again and redirect the spin  in response to the video of a few weeks back when all the kids were crying in the car  after they arrived at her home  and screamed that they didn’t want daddy to leave, as you see below 

 

 Kate  makes a contorted phony expression  with a phony laugh. You can see the phony expression with her furrowed forehead,  raised eyebrow and tight non genuine  smile,  where there is tension around the corners of the mouth.  The facial gestures are incongruent which indicates phoniness. She states  that she “ waits at home  for a phone call from the kids asking when they can come home.”

ONE WAY STREET! KATE CAN TRASH JON BUT JON  CAN’T FIGHT BACK OR HE  GETS SUED  

That is horrible! It is so obvious what she was doing!  She has the national forum and was getting aback at Jon and spinning her image. The ony thing  is that she spun is her image  into the ground. It made her look awful and revealed who she is.  

If  TLC’s PR Dept.  put her on that show and directed the spin so they can have her loveable when her new show debuts, they need to be ashamed of themselves in my view.   It completely backfired. She was anything but loveable.  Jon has been punished by TLC enough in my view. He got the message loud and clear to not talk to the press. Now this has added insult to injury. Jon is a person too.

He has no forum to speak about Kate because he is not allowed to do so or he will get sued. So it is a one way street where Kate can trash him and he can’t say  anything to defend himself! It is unfair and appalling.

I doubt  that with all the  things she has going on in her life professionally,  that  she waits by the phone  with baited breath just  to hear which child will call asking to come home .  And if the kids  do call, what does she do about it?

a.  Does she come and get them?                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            

b. Does  she call  Child Protective Services because they are so miserable and thinks Jon is harming them?

c.  Does she  believe Jon is abusing them by forcing  them to stay  in unlivable conditions -  his little apartment  with a few toys as opposed to their  luxurious big home with a truckload of toys?

d. Is she making  this  all up?

Chances are  the correct answer is it is d . She is making this all up .

 

Kelly Ripa also knows that what Kate is saying is complete BS. Look at Kelly’s body language. She pulls  up her shoulder and tucks in her head and crosses her arms over her body. This is a defensive motion as she is not going to let Kate get away with her nonsense . In  reference to Kate’s ridiculous statement of how the kids call her and want to come home, Kelly asks Kate  in a deliberate  and measured tone  Are they are they allowed to?  

Kelly immediately changes her body position as she awaits Kate’s answer. You can see Kelly is not comfortable  with Kate or the answer she knows Kate is about to spin. You can see that Kelly’s shoulders are raised which indicates she is upset and displeased.  It’s similar to what  a cat does when they are upset and uncomfortable they raise their hackles. They are on alert. Kelly is on alert for Kate’s answer .You can even see how Kelly has pressed her hand on her lap to center herself as she is about to listen to Kate’s  nonsensical spin.

IF KATE HAD NOT ABUSED JON MAYBE THEY WOULD STILL BE SLEEPING IN THEIR OWN HOME AND PLAYING WITH THEIR OWN TOYS

And Spin it Kate did!   Kate says that it’s hard to tell your kids why  they can’t  sleep in their beds and play with their own toys. Well maybe it is time that Kate stop trashing Jon and tell the kids that they need to  learn to compromise and sleep in a bed  away from home that daddy has prepares especially for them. Maybe she needs to tell then  that they can  bring their own special toys when they stay at daddy’s. Maybe she needs to tell them that  daddy who loves them and wants to  see them  .

Maybe it wouldn’t be so hard for the six year-olds to understand why they have to sleep  at daddy’s house  if she would stop trashing Jon. Maybe Kate needed to have thought about  this situation before she abused the daylights  out of Jon and emasculated him  for so many years until he   had no choice but to leave her. Her constant abuse was the catalyst for his going off the  deep end in my estimation.  

 Here we really see her signal of  deception as she says she  talks about the kids and says she is “there for them.” She shakes her head NO  as she says this and looks down and away ,  knowing  very well what she is saying is complete BS .  She is not there for them. She is there for herself  as she runs around  the country doing book tours and TV gigs. 

 She clearly knows that it is a spin to get back at Jon and to make herself good like the perfect mommy . The PR spin was designed  to help her get that positive image now that her show is going to début int he near future.

The only thing she  did  that rang true was when she said  ”I’m Lonely”  She made a genuine sad expression when she spoke those words. So  I believe that when  kids are  mot around, she is indeed lonely. After she alienated so many family members and friends throughout the years, what she says does seem to ring true.

PUTTING THE KIDS IN THE MIDDLE  OF HER  HATRED FOR JON  WILL AFFECT  THE KIDS DOWN THE ROAD  

Anderson Cooper then paraphrases all of her spin and  bluntly says So what you’re saying is that  they don’t enjoy being with him. Kate immediately looks down and with a  slow tentative articulation pattern says   looks  Some of them don’t mind.

Why would anyone in their right mind say something know that will hurt the kids in the long run? In essence she just trashed Jon by telling the world that the kids don’t  like being with their own father who has shown them nothing but love, tenderness and affection  since their birth.  He hs been the more emotionally nurturing of the two. 

 If  what she is saying that kids dont enjoy being with him,  it is no doubt because she put that  through into their little heads to choose between her or Jon. If the kids didn’t want to be with daddy why would they wail for him to not leave them when he dropped them off?

And why in the world would anyone go on national television  and say something like this?  This will have emotional repercussions as far as the children are concerned.  What we have just seen is exactly why  I have insisted all along that Jon and Kate  get a qualified counselor  to help them properly handle  these children so that  they don’t have to be in the middle of their emotional mess.  

  

AND YET ANOTHER DIG AT JON WHICH IS NOT GOING TO HELP THE KIDS

After Kate showed her ugliness with all of her digs towards Jon, she then had to get yet another dig in by  saying  how it’s only been three months since Jon has taken the kids on a regular basis and how it is all so new.

In essence she let everyone know that Jon was being bad and only now stepped up to the plate with the kids. Once again whether that is true or not is no one else’s business.  This dirty laundry did not have to be aired out on public. And why did she wait until the end to say this? It is because her intention for being on that show was to make Jon look bad. She and TLC did not carry out their goal. It made her look bad instead.

 If that is the case  and it has only been three months, then Kate should know that this is an  adjustment period and the kids need to be encouraged about this new  arrangement,  not given subliminal messages to tear them in two and mess up their  little minds about which parent they need to show more loyalty.

UGLY IS AS UGLY DOES  AND UGLINESS IS  PUBLICLY AIRING ANGER  ABOUT  AN EX WITHOUT THINKING ABOUT THE EFFECT  ON YOUR KIDS,

No matter how well coiffed Kate’s hair looked or how shiny her red lip gloss was or  how toned her arms looked in her red sleeveless dress,  Kate’s open  anger and hostility  towards Jon make her look  ugly!

  Her inner hatred contorted the muscles in her face. The sarcastic digs and  smarmy,   nasty tones negated all the hard work her stylist and make up artist did  in putting Kate’s look together. Kate looked like a bitter bitten woman.

But more than her looks, the effect that her bitterness and hatred will have on her children is more serious. These children  need to see a mature  adult as a role model . They do not need to see their mother acting like a nasty, angry,  and centered child  having a  temper tantrum.  Kate needs to grow up and let go of her hate because hate spreads. These children do not need the added burden of dealing with hate. They need love the grow and flourish. www.drlillianglass.com

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Dr. Lillian Glass’ Body Language Analysis of Bachelor Jake Pavelka’s Emotional Abuse and Lack of Empathy Towards Vienna on Reunion Show

Wednesday, July 7th, 2010

ROLE REVERSAL

In the last season of The Bachelor, Vienna Girardi was clearly the villain while Jake was seen as the good guy.

But after watching the Bachelor Reunion with Jake and Vienna, the roles have completely reversed. My new book, which will be released this coming November called  Toxic Men, Identify, Deal With and Heal From Men Who Make Your Life Miserable describes men like Jake Pavelka to a tee.

BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN JAKE AND VIENNA

Before it got to the point where Vienna was in tears as seen in the photo above, there was a lot of back and forth and accusations between the two of them. They both accused the other of lying. He called her a liar who went behind her back to the tabloids. She said that she had no choice because she knew him. He told her that he didn’t know him. But when she  called him a fame whore. He actually laughed . He had nothing to say because it may have rung true to him.

Then he accused her of  cheating and being  with a “boy”. He didn’t say she was with  a “man” but instead called him a ”boy”. This spoke volumes about Jake’s insecurity. Even when Vienna told Jake that the “boy” was a gay friend of hers, he ignored what she said.

He  had his mind made up and that was that. Nothing Vienna said could change anything.

JAKE’S VERBAL AND EMOTIONAL  ABUSE

Jake showed that he was  arrogant, smug, cut off  from communication, unsympathetic, completely into himself, He clearly showed behavior of a control freak who demanded that he be listened to!

When Vienna tried to apologize to him, he could care less. He was detached and arrogant. He then told her in the most gruff and harsh tone to “BE QUIET!

How dare him speak to anyone like that! One wouldn’t even speak to an animal in that tone of voice. It was highly abusive and very disturbing to watch.

JAKE’S HOSTILE AND ABUSIVE BODY LANGUAGE

When Jake told her to “BE QUIET” his body language was abusive as well,  in that he presented his back hand to her.

This is a very hostile gesture and often a precursor towards physical violence. When a person shows you the back of their hand during an argument, if they are angry enough at you they could literally “back hand you”.

Jake also kept shaking his foot indicating that he wanted to get out of there. His body language was saying that wanted to leave and be far  away from Vienna.

If the backhanded violent gesture of violence wasn’t enough, Jake then did something very shocking. It actually repulsed me to the point that I lost complete respect for him.

It also frightened me. If  Jake  could be this  violent body language wise when telling her to stop interrupting him on national television, what could he do to her when the cameras were off of  them and they were in the privacy of their home?

Jack  did a  mock karate chop on his thigh when he yelled at her to stop interrupting him. This is a HUGE red flag in my view. Gestures like that can and have  often lead to  physical violence. When someone punches a wall or punches their fist, or karate chops their thigh to get a point across , it can be dangerous.

JAKE DESTROYED VIENNA’S DIGNITY

Jake  told Vienna not only that he was  angry  bit that that she disgusted him. Telling someone you are angry at them for something they did is one thing.

But telling them they disgust you is another. When you are angry there is hope that you can repair a relationship.

But when a person says  you disgust them, there is no hope for any repair. It is over. It means that you  have lost complete respect for the person.

You have taken away their dignity by making  a statement like that. and there is no going back.

JAKE’S ABUSE MAKES VIENNA CURL UP INTO A BALL

Vienna was so devastated by the Karate chop, the yelling at her, and the verbal abuse that she retreated into a fetal position while sitting.

She  literally curled up into a ball with her head on her lap as she sobbed.

What was even more disturbing to see what Jake had done to her through his emotional abuse wa to see that Jake didn’t  even bat an eye. He could care less. He showed absolutely  no humanity.

Instead, he was focused on himself.  He leaned away  from her and tried to explain himself via  anger,  with his fist-like hand clasped to his shaking foot. He showed no compassion towards her  whatsoever.

The selfishness and lack of compassion on Jake;s part can never be forgotten. It reflected who he truly  is as a human being.

VIENNA GARNERS THE INNER STRENGTH TO WALK AWAY

Vienna finally got the inner strength to get up and leave the set. That took a lot of guts on her part. As a seasoned professional in the media, the biggest sin one can ever commit is to walk off a set. But in Vienna’s situation, what she did showed strength. She was not going to take Jake’s abuse any longer.  But before she left the stage, she told Jake the truth about himself that he was the meanest person she ever met.

Once again Jake didn’t bat an eye. He didn’t even look at her. He was more concerned with himself. He had no concern with her emotional state. He didn’t even go after her when she walked off the stage. He didn’t even try to comfort her. That was a huge turn off to viewers.

After watching Jake in action, I cannot imagine him having an acting career except for roles that may call for a TOXIC MAN like the one he exhibited on the reunion show. www.drlillianglass.com

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