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	<title>Dr. Lillian Glass Body Language Blog &#187; gambling addcition</title>
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		<title>Anita Van der Sloot’s  Body Language  Shows  Anger  at Joran and Shame He Is  Her Son But Continues To Make Excuses For Him As She Cuts Him Out of Her Life</title>
		<link>http://drlillianglass.com/body-language-blog/2010/06/26/anita-van-der-sloot%e2%80%99s-body-language-shows-anger-at-joran-and-shame-he-is-her-son-but-continues-to-make-excuses-for-him-as-she-cuts-him-out-of-her-life/</link>
		<comments>http://drlillianglass.com/body-language-blog/2010/06/26/anita-van-der-sloot%e2%80%99s-body-language-shows-anger-at-joran-and-shame-he-is-her-son-but-continues-to-make-excuses-for-him-as-she-cuts-him-out-of-her-life/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 26 Jun 2010 04:06:39 +0000</pubDate>
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		<description><![CDATA[WAS THE STORY ABOUT  THE CONTENTS OF JORAN’S NOTE HE LEFT FOR HER TRUE? While Joran may have left his mother Anita  a note that he was leaving for Peru, perhaps what he allegedly said  in that note may  be wishful thinking on the part of Anita van der Sloot. She gives a seemingly embellished [...]]]></description>
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<h4 style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #993300;">WAS THE STORY ABOUT  THE CONTENTS OF  JORAN’S NOTE HE LEFT FOR HER TRUE</span>?</h4>
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<p style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://drlillianglassbodylanguageblog.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/anita-looks-down.png"><img class="aligncenter" title="Anita looks down" src="http://drlillianglassbodylanguageblog.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/anita-looks-down.png?w=255&amp;h=227" alt="" width="255" height="227" /></a></p>
<p>While Joran may have left his mother Anita  a note that he was  leaving for Peru, perhaps what he allegedly said  in that note may  be  wishful thinking on the part of Anita van der Sloot.</p>
<p>She gives a seemingly embellished story when she says “Joran left me a note.” As she says.  this she brushes off her leg  it looks like she is brushing something off. This is usually a signal of deception.</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://drlillianglassbodylanguageblog.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/anita-2-but-i-i-dont-wnt-to-go-to-the-netherlands-loks-away1.png"><img title="Anita  2 but I I  dont wnt to go to the netherlands  loks away" src="http://drlillianglassbodylanguageblog.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/anita-2-but-i-i-dont-wnt-to-go-to-the-netherlands-loks-away1.png?w=291&amp;h=187" alt="" width="291" height="187" /></a></p>
<p>She then  looks down and licks her lips indicating  two other   signals  deception as she recites  that the note says “ Mommy I love you but I, I (repetition of the word I  which is another signal of deception )  don’t wanna go to the Netherlands. She then looks way  which is yet anothersignal of deception.</p>
<p>She then says, using  a strong voice which does ring true “ I  am invited to  gamble  in Peru and  I can make money there. But then her voice  wanes as she goes on with something that doesn’t make much sense as she  adds that Joran’s note says  and  I  wanna stay there far  away as no body knows me there. I wanna think I  what I wanna do with my life?”</p>
<p>Right after she says this she cocks her head as though she is  questioning what he has just said- another signal of deception. I  seriously doubt Joran wrote those exact words “I wanna stay there far  away nobody knows me there. That doesn’t sound like something someone  would write in a note as does I wanna think what to do with my life.</p>
<p>Those are very serious decisions- to stay in Peru and to go away and  decide what to do with his life. Why would he write that in a little  note instead of  discussing these important life changing decisions  verbally with is mother. Also her stating that Joran was there to stay  in Peru as opposed to other Latin American countries does not ring true  either. He went there for a Poker tournament, not to stay there and  build a life. He also  went to Columbia and Chile and was on his way to  Argentina.So I don’t buy  it that he was going to  to build a life in  Peru where no one knew him. It doesn’t make sense, especially since he  is not all that fluent in Spanish.</p>
<p>The fact that he wrote it instead of communicating it   to her  verbally shows what a strained relationship they must have had. Also  since her interview  was done for Dutch TV and since she said she trusts  them so much, why didn’t she produce that note that Joran wrote in  order to show everyone exactly what he wrote?</p>
<p>She then  looks down and purses her lips and shrugs her shoulders-  all three  all signals of deception as  her body language and facial  expression do not match her feelings she is attempting to express. Then  she makes a loud” tsking” or smacking sound with her tongue, followed by  silence.</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://drlillianglassbodylanguageblog.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/anita-4-i-was-very-angry.png"><img class="aligncenter" title="anita 4 I was very  angry" src="http://drlillianglassbodylanguageblog.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/anita-4-i-was-very-angry.png?w=287&amp;h=251" alt="" width="287" height="251" /></a></p>
<p>She says I was angry. She knits her brow together and juts her jaw  forward indicating that she was indeed angry with Joran.</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://drlillianglassbodylanguageblog.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/anita-5.png"><img title="Anita 5" src="http://drlillianglassbodylanguageblog.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/anita-5.png?w=322&amp;h=184" alt="" width="322" height="184" /></a></p>
<p>She says ” I was ready for Joran  to eh   follow a path where they could help him dealing with his eh   (looks away) em his gambling addiction and if there was a personality  disorder which could be very good possible.” She she looks down  and blinks a lot as she says this.</p>
<p>Her body language tells make me wonder if she really did send him tot  he Netherlands and if  he was planning to go there ,  or if this is all  Anita’s  spin to not make Joran look like  a monster.</p>
<p>If you are going to a clinic for a gambling addiction, you mention  only  that and don’t add in his  personality disorder, unless  you know  one exists. There is no doubt that Anita did know that Joran had some  type of psychological problem as he was apparently seeing a therapist in  his teen years. Apparently he was sent to a therapist by his parents.  According to an interview  which Joran gave to the Aruban police when he  was a teen, given after Natalie’s was found missing, Joran admitted he  had been sent to a psychiatrist  for stealing 50 euros  from his father  and for his violence towards his brother.</p>
<p>While Jorn has told many lies in his past, I believe that his telling  about seeing a psychiatrist was one of the few times that he was  telling the truth.</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #993300;">ANITA  LAUGHS WHEN SHE SAYS IT COULDN’T BE JORAN WHO KILLED STEFAN</span>Y</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://drlillianglassbodylanguageblog.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/anita-7-and-i-thought.png"><img class="aligncenter" title="Anita 7 and I  thought" src="http://drlillianglassbodylanguageblog.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/anita-7-and-i-thought.png?w=264&amp;h=130" alt="" width="264" height="130" /></a></p>
<p>After Anita recounts that  she found out Stefany was murdered and  says that it could not have been Joran,  her facial expression is not  what one would expect. She smiles as you see above.</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://drlillianglassbodylanguageblog.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/anit-6-blood-everywhere-horrified-expression.png"><img class="aligncenter" title="Anit 6 blood  everywhere horrified expression" src="http://drlillianglassbodylanguageblog.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/anit-6-blood-everywhere-horrified-expression.png?w=301&amp;h=197" alt="" width="301" height="197" /></a></p>
<p>At first she recites what she heard  in a very low and labored tone.  As she speaks she  turns her whole body and face away as literally to  not face this disaster she is revealing.</p>
<p><a href="http://drlillianglassbodylanguageblog.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/anita7b.png"><br />
</a>She says “ I heard  was a girl  found n the Tac hotel in the room of Joran. Her  Inflection goes  up as she says em murdered grually  em with a  knife , blood everywhere etc. (why would someone say  etc.?) They would say etc as a  means of detachment. Anita was clearly  trying to detach herself from the horror  of the incident as she   further visualized what he son did to  poor Stefany. Knowing this was  too much for her to bear emotionally. The fact that Anita spoke in a   monotone also conformed her emotional detachment.</p>
<p>As Anita says the words there  was blood everywhere,she looks away  and turns her head to face way from the interviewer. It is as though she  is unable to  face this horrific visual scene as she has a  serious and devastated look on her face as you can see above.</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://drlillianglassbodylanguageblog.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/anita7b.png"><img class="aligncenter" title="Anita7B" src="http://drlillianglassbodylanguageblog.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/anita7b.png?w=298&amp;h=204" alt="" width="298" height="204" /></a></p>
<p>But  then what she does seems rather odd. She begins to smile as she  says “And I thought no no this  cannot be. No  way.Her smile is a not a happy smile but rather a  nervous smile. It is a that lasts five seconds.  It may also be a  smile  of relief that Joran was finally  caught for  all of his past and  present his misdeeds. She then shrugs her shoulders.</p>
<p>We know that a shoulder shrug is often associated wih a person not  telling the truth. When Anita  said the words” No way” referring to  the fact that there was no way Joran could have committed this brutal  act, she was not telling the truth. In her mind,she may have  very well  known that Joran was capable of doing such a horrific thing based on his  past violence and personality disorder which she referred to earlier in  the interview.</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://drlillianglassbodylanguageblog.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/anita-9-brushing-off-hands.png"><img class="aligncenter" title="Anita 9 brushing off  hands" src="http://drlillianglassbodylanguageblog.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/anita-9-brushing-off-hands.png?w=296&amp;h=173" alt="" width="296" height="173" /></a></p>
<p>She then says she says I was I  was was completely shut  ” while  clasping  her hands together as  if  and then  brushing  her palms   as though she was symbolically  brushing Joran off and eliminating  from her life.</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://drlillianglassbodylanguageblog.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/anita-10-crosses-self.png"><img class="aligncenter" title="Anita 10 crosses  self" src="http://drlillianglassbodylanguageblog.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/anita-10-crosses-self.png?w=323&amp;h=221" alt="" width="323" height="221" /></a></p>
<p>Then she crosses her chest with her   with her arms  over lapping one  another as if to protect herself. She then  describes how she was   completely shut down emotionally .</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://drlillianglassbodylanguageblog.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/anita-11-pushng-joran-away.png"><img class="aligncenter" title="Anita 11 pushng  Joran away" src="http://drlillianglassbodylanguageblog.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/anita-11-pushng-joran-away.png?w=342&amp;h=232" alt="" width="342" height="232" /></a></p>
<p>Then she pushes her hands out as if she is  literally pushing Joran   away from her.</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://drlillianglassbodylanguageblog.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/anota-13-frantic-gestures.png"><img class="aligncenter" title="Anota 13 frantic  gestures" src="http://drlillianglassbodylanguageblog.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/anota-13-frantic-gestures.png?w=313&amp;h=220" alt="" width="313" height="220" /></a></p>
<p>As she describes her phone call with Joran when he was calling her  from the taxi during his escape into Chile, her body language appears to  be  in synch with her emotional state. Here we see Anita making very  frantic  gestures with her hands as she relates how she implored her son  to   turn himself in and go to police after she described how he was  crying to her.</p>
<p>Then Anita changes her tune and says that she thought it was all a  set up because it was exactly five years to the day “that Natalie death happened and now this with Stefany   Flores  happened.” The fact that she mentioned the two girl by   name indicates that she has  respect for them as she  realized the  gravity of the situation and her son’s involvement  .  As Anita  mentions  Stefany’s name, she turns away as to symbolically turn away  from Joran and what he did.  Her speaking in a very matter of fact   unemotional tone shows that she hasn’t fully come to terms with  everything from an emotional standpoint.</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #993300;">ANITA  SHOWS COMPASSION AND SHAME</span></p>
<p>Anita showed compassion when she said she immediately thought of the  parents. Then she added that she  too identified as she lost a son. She  then said she hoped  Joran can speak to the parents of  Stefany Flores  and in a normal way tell them what happened.</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://drlillianglassbodylanguageblog.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/anita-looks-down1.png"><img class="aligncenter" title="Anita looks down" src="http://drlillianglassbodylanguageblog.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/anita-looks-down1.png?w=255&amp;h=227" alt="" width="255" height="227" /></a></p>
<p>But as she says this, there is a  tinge of anger in her tone as she   knows there will be no normal way for Joran speak to her parents .  So  she says “And I apologize  for them  that he is my son. ” She looks down in embarrassment as she  makes this statement, indicting body language-wise that she is   truly  embarrassed that Joran was her son.</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://drlillianglassbodylanguageblog.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/anita-3-cocks-her-head-in-question.png"><img class="aligncenter" title="anita 3 cocks her  head in question" src="http://drlillianglassbodylanguageblog.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/anita-3-cocks-her-head-in-question.png?w=282&amp;h=195" alt="" width="282" height="195" /></a></p>
<p>But then  she attempts to modify what she said  by revealing “  He’s, not a monster.”  She says  this with a   questioning  look as her inflection goes up as if asking a  question, perhaps wondering if Joran really is a monster.</p>
<p>In trying to erase this thought from her mind, she  further tries to  mollify her shame and embarrassment of Joran by explaining that “ he can be  very gentle,” Then she  she rolls  her head from side to side and shrugs  her shoulders as she  continues to offer up further excuses fro Joran’s egregious acts by  saying “  it could be that he  has a  bipolar em personality.”<br />
She is slightly teary  eyed  as she says this yet she is angry as  indicated by her pursed lips and jaw jutted forward.</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://drlillianglassbodylanguageblog.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/anota-18-interlocking-fingers-and-pulling-away.png"><img class="aligncenter" title="Anota 18  interlocking fingers and pulling away" src="http://drlillianglassbodylanguageblog.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/anota-18-interlocking-fingers-and-pulling-away.png?w=332&amp;h=215" alt="" width="332" height="215" /></a></p>
<p>She then leans away and places  her hands in front of herself ,    interlocking her  fingers like a closed gate. In doing so she is     indicating that there is no way she will ever change the words  she has  said “  I will not visit Joran  in Peru. I don’t have any feeling that it  can add up to  anything. I want to keep distance .I think it will bring emotions up that I am not ready for.  “</p>
<p>I think that Anita is wise to stay away from Joran as who knows what  would happen to her if they were alone together in his cell in Peru.  Based on his psychological reports Joran does not value the female role  and has disrespect for women, Thus, there is no doubt that he  disrespects his mother. Based on how violent his killing was of Stefany  and what he probably did to Natalie, he harbors  a lot of rage towards  women including   his mother. Therefore, her own life may be in jeopardy  if she is face to face with her son.</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">She  tries to justly her actions  of refusing to see her son by saying she is  not a police officer, she is a  a mom.  What she is saying is that she  wants the police  officers to handle him because as a  <span style="color: #993300;">mom she is  helpless. She  goes  on to say of he is involved, then he  needs to be punished by the police.</span></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #993300;">ANITA  GOES BACK TO BLAMING JORAN’S PROBLEMS ON HIS BEING  CHASED FIVE YEARS</span></p>
<p>Anita definitely has mercurial feelings whne it comes to Joran. On  the one hand she sees what Joran has done and wants hiom punished fro  his actions.. But on the other breath she continues to make excuses  for  Joraan by  saying that “he was  chased five years;”</p>
<p>She ratonalizes that this is what caused this  as she blame “people stared at him everywhere he went.  “</p>
<p>Maybe if Joran would have come clean and not toyed with the Holloway  family, people would not have  have stared at him. Maybe if he would  have completed his studies or gone on to  a respectable profession  instead of being engaged in the trafficking of prostitutes in Thailand  people wouldn’t have stared at him. Maybe if he would have dedicated his  time and energies to a more worthwhile and charitable cause instead of  playing poker, people wouldn’ t have stared at him.  Perhaps if he got  the psychological help he needed, he would have been better able to cope  if anyone did happen to stare at him. In reality, how could people  avoid staring at someone like Joran who was a striking looking at 6 foot  3 inches tall.</p>
<p>Anita continued on in defending Joran by saying ,”They bothered him and there as no place he was safe.”</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #993300;">NOW  ANITA GOES BACK TO BLAMING JORAN</span></p>
<p>We see Anita’s thought yo yoing  as she says ” I belive in  karma. If you do things you shouldn’t do a lot of shit happens to you.” It was interesting how Anita used such a  crude word when she knew she was being televised. Perhaps that was the  only words she could use to describe her son’s predicament.</p>
<p>Ti use Anita’s word,  a lot of shit  happened to Anita as well as Joran. It happened to her because she  didn’t handle her out of control son with enough tough love. She made   too many excuses for him like  she is doing now.</p>
<p>But then she goes backtracks as she blames  Joran for not listening to his parents. But  his parents needed to have set down some firm laws so their teenage son  at the time was not in casinos gambling.</p>
<p>Anita then says ” He didn’t  listen to me . and then hesitates and finally continues with “  this last time .” I have no doubt  that Joran didn’t listen to Anita anytime.  In making such a  statement  Anita is trying to defend herself, She does so by adding “  I tried to do my best I don’t think I  could have done more.. “  Of course she could have done more   early on in Joran’s teen years. But she is right that she could not have  done more now . It is too late.</p>
<p>One of the most disturbing aspects of  Anita’s interview was that she  was making excuses for not  talking to Beth Twitty and blaming the fact  that she was being shielded  by the media.  That is an excuse  because  if Anita wanted to get to Beth she could have reached out to her somehow  during these five years.As Anita says this she  looks down and shrugs  her shoulder. This body language gesture indicates that  what Anita is  saying about not being able to get to Beth is not true.</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://drlillianglassbodylanguageblog.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/19-there-is-no-relation.png"><img class="aligncenter" title="19 there is no  relation" src="http://drlillianglassbodylanguageblog.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/19-there-is-no-relation.png?w=327&amp;h=224" alt="" width="327" height="224" /></a></p>
<p>What is absolutely true based on her  angry and distanced  body  language is that there is no longer any relationship between Anita and  her son Joran. <a href="../../">www.drlillianglass.com</a></p>
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