Days later, I am still haunted by Oprah’s “Day In the Life of Nadya Suleman.” In observing Nadya’s body language, I can clearly say that this woman is misguided and disconnected from the reality of her very serious situation.
With her inappropriate laughter, at one extreme, and on the other extreme with her deadpan lack of appropriate facial animation and expression, monotone, meaningless mea culpa filled with self deprecation, and her misguided and unrealistic views, there is no question that Nadya is in need of some serious help.
OPRAH’S BODY LANGUAGE INDICATED SHE WAS NOT TOO KEEN ABOUT HAVING NADYA ON HER SHOW
Nadya said that her intention in appearing on Oprah because she was sick and tired of people having the wrong idea about her. So she wrote to Oprah to have her on the show and Oprah obliged, albeit unwillingly, based on Oprah’s body language.
Oprah, was clearly not too keen about having Nadya on her show and it showed in . Oprah’s uncharacteristic stiffness, lack of smiling, tenseness in her face and a turned –off vocal tone, showing disgust.
Oprah Winfrey even said on the show that she “had reservations” about interviewing Nadya Suleman, That is why she initially refused to join in on the Octomom media frenzy, until she received a letter from Nadya telling her how she wanted the world “to see her for who she is.”
WAS NADYA’S REAL INTENTION FOR GOING ON OPRAH TO GET OPRAH’S FINANCIAL HELP?
If you are not promoting a book , a TV show , a product,, or some charitable cause, why go on Oprah? While Nadya says her intention for going on the show was to set the record straight, I think that it may have been a lot more calculated on Suleman’s part.
Perhaps she thought that by going on Oprah, she could play the victim role , with the hope of Oprah bailing her out of her mess, like Oprah has done for so many of her guests in need throughout the years.
Oprah has been known to give away houses, college educations, seed money to start businesses, pay mortgages, and buy cars for previous guests .
So, perhaps Nadya thought why not go on Oprah and allow her to film her life with her children. This way, Oprah could see what a difficult time Nadya was having with all her chaos and perhaps Oprah would now provide her with more nannies, a bigger home, pay off her mortgage, provide a trust fund for all the kids for a college education, or all of the above.
But by the tone of Oprah’s voice and the direction of her questioning, along with the regular flashes of a disgusted facial expression, Oprah was having none of it.
She clearly let Nadya know that Nadya and her brood were on their own, sans Oprah’s help.
At the end of the show Oprah offered up nothing to Nadya except for wishing her well in an uncharacteristically non- Oprah-like unenthusiastic tone..
OPRAH TRIED TO PROVIDE OPTIONS FOR NADYA THROUGH HER QUESTIONING
While many would say that Nadya’s appearance on Oprah brought in a larger viewership that day and for that alone, Oprah should have rewarded Nadya with a little something like paying off her mortgage so that Nadya and her kids would have a roof over their heads and their home wouldn’t go into foreclosure.
But after watching Oprah for decades, this is not how Oprah works. Oprah is all about empowering people and helping those who try to help themselves. She doesn’t give them the fish. Instead she gives them the fishing pole so that they can be empowered to do things on their own.
After listening to Oprah’s questioning of Nadya, you could see Oprah getting more tense body language wise and more angry facial language and vocal wise because she soon discovered that talking to Nadya was like talking to a wall.
Nadya had no intention of helping herself. For example, Nadya was insistent that she would NEVER ever put her kids on television . She even remarked that it was “boarderlinbe abuise.”
Oprah then probed further asking Nadya if someday will she feel forced to put her kids on TV to earn money so they can survive, Nadya was adamant that she would never do it. Case closed!
Nadya then went on to say that she did appear on the cover of a magazine in a bikini but that is not who she is and that when the money runs out from that media gig, she doesn’t know how she will survive.
Nadya’s answer it appears was a clear ploy to get Oprah to feel sorry for her as a person who had “:no way out.” It was as though she was waiting for Oprah to say. “ Oh poor Nadya. Here is some money so now all your problems will go away.”
But Oprah did nothing of the sort. Instead Oprah probed deeper with her questioning and Nadya was even more adamant that she would not put her kids in the media.
NADYA’S INTENTION OF HAVING OPRAH HELP HER BACKFIRED DUE TO HER HYPOCRISY, CONTRADICITONS AND STUBBORNESS
Nadya’s stubbornness at not wanting her kids on TV and her hypocrisy of having posed bikini-clad for photos for money to feed her kids turned views off.. This, along with her now actually having her kids filmed on TV showing them in a day in her life reeked of hypocrisy and contradiction.
OPRAH MAY HAVE BEEN WILLING TO HELP BEFORE NADYA MENTIONED “BOARLINE ABUSE “
I have no doubt that Oprah could have helped if Nadya would have only shown signs of wanting to help herself. When Oprah openly asked her that if someday, wouldn’t she feel that she might have to put her kids on TV, Nadya barely let Oprah get the question out as she chimed in that she was appalled at the suggestion, calling it “ boarderline abuse.”
As Oprah asked that question I could see the wheels turning in Oprah’s mind . Oprah is the most powerful woman in the television world with her OWN television network incidentally called OWN (Oprah Winfrey Network) . Oprah could have easily given Nadya a prime time show like TLC did with Jon and Kate plus 8 where we watched these multiples grow up. The show could have provided Nadya with more nannies and more financial help to address the children’s needs.
If Oprah was behind Nadya’s show .Oprah would have NEVER abused any children by having them filmed for their own show. There is no doubt in my mind that she would have abided by the strict child labor laws ,
Oprah could have definitely helped Nadya in a legitimate way. But Nadya was too unaware and disconnected to the reality of her situation allow Oprah to help.
Oprah didn’t offer her the fish. Instead,. though her line of questioning , Oprah was no doubt was offering Nadya the fishing pole, with the opportunity to do a show so she could support her kids.
But as soon as Oprah head the words “boarderline abuse the wheels stopped turning in her mind as to how she could help Nadya get out of her dire financial situation. Oprah was done!
NADYA’S MISGUIDED PERCEPTION THAT PUTTING HER KIDS ON TV IS
“BOARDERLINE ABUSE!”
Nadya’s misguided perception of putting her kids on TV is not abuse , especially if Oprah was involved in doing a show with her. As long as there were proper things in place like the number hours they could be filmed, having medical help on hand, having psychologists the team available, having educators on hand, there would not be abuse.
ABUSE IS EMOTIONAL NEGLECT
Abuse is what we saw on TV in watching the day in Nadya’s life . Neglect is abuse and those kids are clearly neglected emotionally. She knows it and even mentioned that she feels guilty she cannot give them enough attention or supervision.
NOT IMMEDIATELY TAKING A BABY WITH AN EAR INFECTION TO THE ER IS ABUSE
The little baby with the ear infection, needed immediate attention STAT . He needed to be taken to the emergency room immediately and not have to wait until Nadya made a call to get someone to help. That baby did not have to suffer in pain until Nadya’s helper got out of bed in the middle of the night, went to the bathroom, got dressed, got in their car, to arrive at her house to get the baby to put him in her car , to buckle him into a baby car seat, and finally drive him to the ER.
Instead, Nadya needed to have someone on hand right then and then to grab the child and take him to the ET immediately so there would be less time that the child had to suffer in agony.
HAVING NO NANNIES OR ADDITIONAL HELP AT NIGHT WHEN SO MANY CHILDREN NEED ATTENTION IS ABUSE
The woman is so overwhelmed and sleep deprived , that she and not able to give each child the correct supervision. There are not enough nannies to go around during the day with only three nannies for 14 children. That is one nanny for 5 children.
The fact that there are NO nannies at night, is appalling . Oprah was even appalled any this and told Nadya she needed night nannies.
How can Nadya Not have nannies at night? It is a MUST!
Night time is when children need can need help the most,. This is the time when they often get scared and cry or something often goes wrong with them health wise. The fact that these babies are left crying all night long with no one to comfort them , I find this highly abusive and unconscionable.
There are thousands of reputable and decent people out there who would love to volunteer for a night shift to hold and care for any of those crying babies.
ABUSE IS NOT SUPERVSING YOUR KIDS TOT HE POINT THAT YOU ARE CLUELESS THAT ONE CHILD WAS STEPPING ON ANOTHER AND HURTING THEM
If it wasn’t for the Oprah camera crew, who knows what would have happened to the baby who was stepped on by their older sibling!. Who knows what damage was done to that child.! That was only one incident that we saw when there were camera filming the children..
One can only imagine what else goes on in that household when there are no cameras..
ABUSE IS ALLOWING A CHILD TO WALK AROUND WITH A CLEFT LIP WITHOUT SURGICAL REPAIR
Seeing the baby with the open cleft lip at that age disturbed me greatly. Having spent a lot of my early career working with patients who had facial deformities, I know a lot about people who are born with cleft lips and palates.
I know that surgery is usually performed during the first 3 to 6 months to repair a cleft lip and between 9 and 14 months to repair the cleft palate. . This baby apparently only has a cleft lip. That lip should have been repaired at least 6 months ago,
To allow this child to live with a gaping split in his lip where it will make his eating, swallowing, and speech and language development problematic as he grows is abuse in my book. It is unconscionable to not repair the child’s cleft and to have let it go untreated for so long a period
ABUSE IS ONLY GETTING TWO HOURS A NIGHT SLEEP AND NOT FUNCTIONING EFFECTIVELY AROUND YOUR CHILDREN
WE all know that most parents of babies rarely get a good night’s sleep. But when a human being ONLY gets 2 hours of sleep a night and that situation has been going on for over a year, this is very bad.It is not only bad for the parent but very bad for the child.
There have been enough studies in the literature throughout the years concerning sleep deprivation and what happens to a person if they have no slept for long periods of time, The bottom line is that they cannot function properly.
They cannot make the right decisions, Their perceptions are distorted, Their physical coordination and reaction time is impaired. They become less emotionally stable and more emotionally labile..
With Nadya getting a reported 2 hours of sleep per night, it is no wonder that her perceptions are distorted .How can she properly care for all of these children if her perceptions are misguided and she doesn’t think clearly? She could make a lot of mistakes in terms of how she cares for these children thereby endangering their welfare..
ABUSE IS NOT IMMEDIATELY ADDRESSING THE NEEDS OF A POTENTIALLY TROUBLED CHILD
Nadya mentioned several times how her 8 year old boy acts up and how he is more of a handful than her 8 babies. Maybe he acts up because he needs the attention. Maybe he acts up because he is troubled.
Whatever the case, the fact that this boy is acting up needs to be immediately addressed by a professional. By neglecting and not getting this boy proper help in the form of a therapist or counselor she is doing him a huge disservice.
EMPTY MONOTONE RHETORIC COMPLETE WITH MEA CULPA REFLECT MANIPULATION
Nadya has all the right words and says all the right things to show us she has psychological insight with regard to what she has irresponsibly and irrevocably done.
She says the 14 children came from “my own childish desires.” She says shew as “selfish and immature.”
As she self deprecates in telling us how bad and dumb she was to do this , she offers up no solutions for her problem.
Her monotone indicates that she has robotically discovered that it is much easier to agree with what the public thinks of her than to argue with them as she did early on when she appeared on the Dr. Phil show fighting with her mother. .
All of this is manipulation in my view. Her agreement with public sentiment is a way of shutting them up. What more can you say when you point the finger at someone and they in turn, point the finger at themselves in agreement that they were wrong? You can say nothing!
So now that she has shut people up by agreeing with them, she can now play the victim role and to the hilt and tell them how bad off she is in hopes that they will now help out. After all, she agrees with them as to what a bad thing she did.
NADYA LOVING THE ATTENTION !!!!!
Nadya tries to get you to feel sorry for her as she tries to justify her actions for accepting $100,000 for a bikini photo shoot in a magazine by appeasing any detractors and saying she feels “a tremendous amount of guilt” There is no doubt in my mind that she LOVED IT!!
Personally I have spoken to many limo drivers who have chauffeured Nadya back and forth to her many media gigs and they ALL tell me she LOVES all the attention.
Even though she tries to paint herself as this prim and proper innocent woman who just made a mistake because she loves kids so much, she no doubt LOVES that she has been offered a role in a porn film “three times. ” While she says she found being offered these film roles “disrespectful,”there is no doubt in my mind that it flattered her very fragile ego.
Nadya’s immaculate makeup, manicured fingernails, low cut tee shirts, figure hugging dresses, and short skirts not only scream for attention but scream that she wants to be seen a sexy. What better validation for your sexiness than to have a porn company offer you a film deal!
NADYA LOVES THE PAPPS AND THE ATTENTION
Pushing awkward multiple giant strollers to go to to a public park for a few minutes of playtime with the kids is bound to get anyone to look at you., l et alone the paparazzi..
That is exactly why Nadya does it. She no doubt LOVES the papps and loves the public attention. It is what fuels her.
She does not hate the papps as she says. According to my sources, . she has even contacted them to let them know of her whereabouts so that they can film her.
NADYA NEEDS TO GET SOME HELP BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE
When we saw Nada in a day in her life on Oprah talking to her eldest child who didnt want to go to school and told him that it was illegal for him not to go to school. She also said that and if he didn’t go to school social services would come and take him away or disrupt he family/
As we heard Nadya tell this to her little boy, it was clear to see that Social Services is in the forefront of Nadya’s mind.
There is no doubt that they are watching her like a hawk and waiting for some major slip up, so that they can to intervene,
When Oprah asked her if she would consider giving the kids to foster families to help take care of them, Nadya adamantly refused to consider the thought and said she would do anything in her power to make sure this never happened. But it may very well happen.
The ONLY way this will never happen is if she earns enough money to properly support these kids, get more nannies and more help for the kids, so that all of their immediate needs can be addressed.
She needs to have more time to sleep so that she can function properly. She needs to stop living in the illusion that she will find some work out there to support her family that isn’t media related. It will NEVER happen. Who will hire her? She cannot start a business of her own and take care of this family. There is only one solution.
NADYA NEEDS TO IMMEDIATELY RECONSIDER HER MEDIA OPPORTUNITIES
The only way Nada cn earn enough money for her kids and still be with her kids is if she puts her them on TV so that we can all watch them grow up. As far as abuse and exploitation, if child labor laws are followed and there is a therapist on hand at all times I foresee that this can be a win- win situation for all.
Say what you will about Kate Gosselin,, she never has to worry about having enough money for her kids. She may have to worry about other things like their psychological health. But she will at least have enough money to afford therapists for them in the future if and when they need one.
Love her or hate her, Kate has taken advantage of her situation and made a cottage industry out of her sextuplets as they are cared for financially, They will never starve to death and they have enough money in their trust funds to attend college if they choose to do so.’
This cannot be said for Nadya’s kids. People will continue to notice them and know who they are just because Nadya is their mother ,. Her excuse at wanting to givev them a normal life is naive. There is no way they will ever have a normal life based on their circumstances.
So in order to give them a better life, why not share them with the public and afford them opportunities they could never have? The one thing ,Kate Gosselin said about her show was that it gave the kids experiences and opportunities to do things they could never do because there was no money to do them.
For that reason alone Nadya should consider having them on a show, Besides people love watching babies grow, especially multiples as we saw from Jon and Kate Plus 8’s popularity.
That is why in my view, Nadya needs to write another letter to Oprah, Only this time she needs to let Oprah know that she reconsidered having her kids on TV and gives the OWN Network first choice in making a decision to produce and air her show.
By having a show featuring the kids, there will be a very public watchful eye over them so that no harm can come to them, In addition Nadya or her children will never have to worry where their next meal will be coming from.. http://www.drlillianglass.com/
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