Days later, I am still  haunted by Oprah’s “Day In the Life of Nadya Suleman.” In observing Nadya’s body language, I can clearly say that this woman is misguided and disconnected from the reality of her very serious  situation.

With her inappropriate laughter, at one extreme, and on the other extreme with  her deadpan lack of appropriate facial animation and expression, monotone, meaningless mea culpa  filled with self deprecation,  and her  misguided  and unrealistic views, there is no question that Nadya is in need of some serious help.

OPRAH’S BODY LANGUAGE INDICATED SHE WAS NOT TOO KEEN ABOUT HAVING NADYA ON HER SHOW

Nadya said that  her intention in appearing on Oprah because she was sick and tired of people having the wrong idea about her.  So she wrote to Oprah to have her on the show and Oprah obliged, albeit unwillingly, based on Oprah’s body language.

Oprah, was clearly not too keen about having  Nadya on her show  and it  showed  in . Oprah’s uncharacteristic stiffness, lack of smiling, tenseness in her face  and a turned –off vocal tone, showing disgust.

Oprah Winfrey even  said on  the show  that she  “had reservations” about interviewing Nadya Suleman, That is why she  initially  refused to  join in on the Octomom media frenzy,  until she received  a letter from Nadya  telling her how she wanted the world “to see her for who she is.”

WAS NADYA’S REAL INTENTION FOR GOING ON OPRAH TO GET  OPRAH’S FINANCIAL HELP?

If you are not  promoting a book , a TV show , a  product,, or some charitable cause, why  go on Oprah?  While Nadya says her intention for going on the show was to set the record straight, I think that it may have been a lot more calculated on Suleman’s part.

Perhaps she thought that by going on Oprah, she could  play the victim role , with the hope of  Oprah bailing  her out of her mess, like Oprah has done for so many of her guests in need throughout the years.

Oprah has been known to give away houses, college educations, seed money to start  businesses,  pay mortgages, and buy cars for previous guests .

So, perhaps Nadya thought why not go on Oprah and allow her to film her life with her children. This way,  Oprah could see what a difficult time Nadya was having  with all her chaos and perhaps  Oprah would now provide her with more nannies, a bigger home, pay off her mortgage, provide a trust fund for all the kids for a college education, or all of the above.

But by the tone of  Oprah’s voice and the direction of her questioning, along with the  regular flashes of  a disgusted  facial expression, Oprah was  having none of it.

She clearly let Nadya know that Nadya and her brood were on their own, sans Oprah’s help.

At the end of the show Oprah offered  up nothing to Nadya except for wishing her  well in an uncharacteristically  non- Oprah-like  unenthusiastic tone..

OPRAH  TRIED TO PROVIDE OPTIONS FOR NADYA THROUGH HER QUESTIONING

While many would say that Nadya’s  appearance on Oprah  brought in a larger viewership that day and for that alone, Oprah should have rewarded Nadya with a little something like paying off her  mortgage so that Nadya and her kids would have a roof over their heads and their home wouldn’t  go into foreclosure.

But  after watching Oprah for decades, this is not how Oprah works. Oprah is all about empowering people and helping those who try to help themselves. She doesn’t give them the fish. Instead she gives them the fishing pole so that they can be empowered to do things on their own.

After listening to Oprah’s questioning  of Nadya,  you could see Oprah getting more tense body language wise and more angry facial language and vocal wise because  she soon discovered that talking to Nadya was like talking to a wall.

Nadya  had no intention of helping herself.  For example, Nadya was insistent  that she would NEVER  ever put her kids on television . She even remarked that it was “boarderlinbe abuise.”

Oprah then probed  further asking Nadya if  someday will she feel  forced to put her kids on TV to  earn money so they can survive, Nadya was adamant that she would never do it. Case closed!

Nadya then went on to say that she did appear on the cover of a magazine in a bikini but that is not who she is and that when the money runs out from that media gig,  she doesn’t know how she will survive.

Nadya’s answer  it appears was  a clear ploy to get Oprah to feel sorry for her as a person who had “:no way out.” It was as though  she was waiting for Oprah to   say. “ Oh poor Nadya. Here is some  money so now all your problems will go away.”

But Oprah did nothing of the sort. Instead Oprah  probed  deeper with her questioning and Nadya was even more adamant that she would not put her kids in the media.

NADYA’S  INTENTION OF HAVING OPRAH HELP HER BACKFIRED DUE TO HER HYPOCRISY, CONTRADICITONS  AND STUBBORNESS

Nadya’s  stubbornness at not wanting  her kids on TV and her hypocrisy of  having  posed bikini-clad  for photos for money  to feed her kids  turned views off..  This, along with her  now actually having her kids filmed   on TV  showing  them in a  day in her life  reeked of hypocrisy and contradiction.

OPRAH MAY HAVE BEEN WILLING TO HELP BEFORE NADYA  MENTIONED “BOARLINE ABUSE “

I have no doubt that Oprah could have helped   if  Nadya would have only  shown signs of wanting to help  herself. When Oprah openly asked her that if someday, wouldn’t she feel that she might have to put her kids on TV, Nadya barely let Oprah get the question out  as she chimed in that she was  appalled  at the suggestion, calling it “ boarderline abuse.”

As Oprah  asked  that question I could see the wheels turning in Oprah’s mind .  Oprah is the most powerful woman in the television world with her OWN television  network incidentally   called OWN (Oprah Winfrey  Network) . Oprah could have  easily given  Nadya a prime time show  like TLC did with Jon and  Kate plus 8 where we watched these multiples grow up. The show could have provided  Nadya with  more nannies and  more financial help  to address the children’s needs.

If  Oprah was behind Nadya’s show .Oprah would have NEVER abused any children  by having them filmed for their own show. There is no doubt in my mind that she would have abided by the  strict child labor laws ,

Oprah could have definitely helped Nadya in a legitimate way. But Nadya was too unaware and disconnected to the reality of her situation   allow Oprah to help.

Oprah didn’t offer her the fish.  Instead,.  though her line of questioning , Oprah was no doubt was offering Nadya the fishing pole,  with the opportunity to do a show so she could support her kids.

But as  soon as Oprah head the words “boarderline abuse the wheels stopped turning in her mind as  to how she could help Nadya get out of her dire financial  situation. Oprah was done!

NADYA’S MISGUIDED PERCEPTION  THAT PUTTING HER KIDS ON TV IS
“BOARDERLINE ABUSE!”

Nadya’s  misguided perception of  putting her kids on TV is not abuse , especially if  Oprah was involved in doing a show with her. As long as there were proper things in place like the  number  hours they could be filmed, having medical help on hand, having psychologists the team available, having educators on hand, there would not be abuse.

ABUSE IS EMOTIONAL NEGLECT

Abuse is what we saw on  TV in watching the day in Nadya’s life . Neglect is abuse and those kids are clearly neglected emotionally.  She knows it and even mentioned that she feels guilty she cannot give them enough attention  or supervision.

NOT  IMMEDIATELY TAKING A BABY  WITH AN EAR INFECTION TO THE ER IS ABUSE

The little baby with the ear infection, needed immediate attention STAT . He needed to be taken to the emergency room immediately and not  have to wait until Nadya made a call to get someone to help. That baby did not have to suffer in pain until Nadya’s helper got out of bed in the middle of the night, went to the bathroom, got dressed, got in their car,  to  arrive at  her house to get the baby to put him in her car , to buckle him into a baby car seat, and finally  drive him to the ER.

Instead, Nadya  needed to have someone on hand right then and then to grab the child and take him to the ET immediately so there would be less time that the child had to suffer in agony.

HAVING NO NANNIES  OR ADDITIONAL HELP  AT NIGHT  WHEN SO MANY CHILDREN NEED ATTENTION IS ABUSE

The woman is  so overwhelmed and sleep deprived , that she  and not able to give each child  the correct  supervision. There are not enough nannies to go around during the day with only three nannies for 14 children. That is one nanny for 5 children.

The fact that there are  NO nannies at night, is appalling . Oprah was even appalled any this and  told Nadya  she needed night nannies.

How can Nadya  Not have  nannies  at night? It is a MUST!

Night time is when children need can  need help the most,. This is the time  when they  often get scared and cry or something often  goes wrong with them  health wise. The fact that these babies are  left crying all night long   with no one to comfort them , I find this highly abusive and  unconscionable.

There are thousands of  reputable and decent  people  out there who would love to volunteer for a night shift to hold and care for any of those crying babies.

ABUSE IS NOT SUPERVSING YOUR KIDS TOT HE POINT THAT YOU ARE CLUELESS  THAT ONE  CHILD WAS STEPPING ON ANOTHER AND  HURTING THEM

If it wasn’t for the Oprah camera crew,  who knows what would have happened  to the baby who was stepped on by their older sibling!. Who knows what damage was done to that child.! That was only one incident that we saw when there were camera filming the children..

One can only imagine what else goes on in that household when there are no cameras..

ABUSE IS ALLOWING A CHILD TO WALK AROUND WITH A CLEFT LIP WITHOUT SURGICAL REPAIR

Seeing  the baby with the  open cleft lip at that age disturbed me  greatly. Having spent a lot of my early career working with patients who had facial deformities, I know a lot about people who are born with cleft lips and palates.

I know that  surgery is usually performed during the first 3 to 6 months to repair  a cleft lip and between 9 and 14 months to repair the cleft palate. . This baby apparently only has a cleft lip. That lip should have been repaired at least 6 months ago,

To allow this child to live with a gaping split in his lip where it will make his eating, swallowing,  and speech and language development problematic as he grows is abuse in  my book. It is unconscionable to not  repair the child’s cleft and to have let it go untreated for so long a period

ABUSE IS ONLY GETTING TWO HOURS A NIGHT  SLEEP AND NOT FUNCTIONING EFFECTIVELY AROUND YOUR CHILDREN

WE all know that  most parents of babies rarely get a good night’s sleep. But when a human being ONLY gets 2 hours of sleep a night and that situation has been going on for over a year, this is very bad.It is not only bad for the parent but very bad for the child.

There have been enough studies in the literature throughout  the years  concerning  sleep deprivation  and what happens to a person if they have no slept for long periods of time, The bottom line is that they cannot function properly.

They cannot make the right decisions, Their  perceptions are distorted, Their physical coordination and reaction time is impaired. They become less emotionally stable and more emotionally labile..

With Nadya  getting a reported 2 hours of sleep per night, it is no wonder that her perceptions are distorted .How can she properly  care for all of these children if her perceptions are misguided and she doesn’t think clearly?  She could make a lot of mistakes in terms of how she cares for these children thereby endangering their welfare..

ABUSE IS NOT IMMEDIATELY ADDRESSING  THE NEEDS OF A POTENTIALLY TROUBLED CHILD

Nadya  mentioned several times how her 8 year old boy acts up and how he is more of a handful than her 8 babies. Maybe he acts up because he needs the attention. Maybe he acts up because  he is troubled.

Whatever the case,  the fact that this boy is acting up needs to be immediately  addressed by a professional. By neglecting  and not getting this boy proper help in the form of a therapist or counselor she is doing him a huge  disservice.

EMPTY MONOTONE   RHETORIC  COMPLETE WITH  MEA CULPA  REFLECT  MANIPULATION

Nadya has all the right words and  says all the right things to show us she has  psychological  insight with regard to what she has irresponsibly and irrevocably done.

She says  the 14 children came from “my own childish desires.” She says shew as “selfish and immature.”

As she self deprecates in telling us how bad and dumb she was to do this , she offers up no solutions for her problem.

Her monotone indicates that she has robotically discovered that it is  much easier to agree with what the public thinks of her than to argue with them as she did early on when she appeared on the Dr. Phil show fighting with her mother. .

All of this is manipulation in my view. Her agreement  with public sentiment is a way of shutting them up. What more can you say when you point the finger at someone and they in turn, point the finger at themselves in agreement  that they were wrong?  You can say nothing!

So  now that she has shut people up by agreeing with them, she can now play the victim role and to the hilt and tell them how bad off she is in hopes that they will  now help out. After all, she agrees with them as to what a bad thing she did.

NADYA LOVING THE ATTENTION !!!!!

Nadya  tries to get you to feel sorry for her as she tries to justify her actions for accepting $100,000 for a bikini photo shoot in a  magazine by appeasing  any detractors and saying she feels “a tremendous amount of guilt”  There is no  doubt in my mind that she LOVED IT!!

Personally I have spoken to many limo drivers who have chauffeured Nadya back and forth to her many media gigs and they  ALL tell me she LOVES all  the attention.

Even though she tries to paint herself as this prim and proper innocent woman who just made a mistake because she loves kids so much, she no doubt  LOVES  that she  has  been offered a role in a porn film “three times. ” While she  says she found  being offered these film roles  “disrespectful,”there is no doubt in my mind that it flattered her very fragile ego.

Nadya’s immaculate makeup, manicured fingernails, low cut tee shirts, figure hugging dresses, and short skirts  not only scream for attention but scream that she wants to be seen a sexy. What better validation for your sexiness than to have a porn company offer you a film deal!

NADYA LOVES THE PAPPS AND THE ATTENTION

Pushing  awkward  multiple  giant strollers to go to to a public park for a few minutes of playtime with the kids  is bound to get anyone to look at you., l et alone the paparazzi..

That is exactly why Nadya does it. She  no doubt LOVES the papps and loves the  public attention. It is what fuels her.

She does not hate the papps as she says. According to my sources, . she has even contacted them to let them know of her whereabouts so that they can  film her.

NADYA NEEDS TO GET SOME HELP BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE

When we saw  Nada in a  day in her life on Oprah talking to her eldest child who didnt want to go to school and told him that  it was illegal for him not to go to school. She also said  that  and if he didn’t go to school social services would come and take him away  or disrupt he family/

As we heard Nadya tell this to her little boy, it was clear to see that Social Services is in the forefront of Nadya’s mind.

There is no doubt that they are watching her like a hawk and waiting for some major slip up, so that they can  to intervene,

When Oprah asked her if she would consider giving the kids to foster families to help take care of them, Nadya  adamantly  refused to consider the thought and said she would do anything  in her power  to make sure this never happened. But it may very well happen.

The ONLY way this will never happen is if she earns  enough money to properly support these kids, get more nannies and more help  for the kids, so that all of their immediate needs can be addressed.

She needs to have more time to sleep so that she can function properly. She needs to stop living in the illusion that she will find some work out there to support her family that isn’t media related. It will NEVER  happen. Who will hire her? She cannot start a business of her own and take care of this family. There is only one solution.

NADYA NEEDS TO IMMEDIATELY RECONSIDER HER MEDIA  OPPORTUNITIES

The only way Nada cn earn enough money for her kids and still be with her kids is if she puts her  them on TV so that we can all watch them grow up. As far as abuse and exploitation, if  child labor laws are followed and there is a therapist on hand at all times I foresee that this can be a win- win situation for all.

Say what you will about Kate Gosselin,, she never has to worry about having enough  money for her kids. She may have to worry about other things like their psychological health. But she will at least have enough money to afford therapists for them in the future if and when they need one.

Love her or hate her, Kate has taken advantage of her situation and  made a cottage industry out of her sextuplets  as they are cared for financially, They will never starve to death  and they have enough money in their trust funds to attend college if they choose to do so.’

This cannot be said for Nadya’s kids. People will continue to  notice them and know who they are just because  Nadya  is their mother ,. Her excuse at wanting to givev them a normal life is naive. There is no way they will ever have a normal life based on their circumstances.

So in order to give them a better life, why not share them with the public and afford them opportunities they could never have?  The one thing ,Kate Gosselin  said about her show was that it gave the kids experiences and opportunities to do things they could never do  because there was no money to do them.

For that reason alone Nadya should consider having them on a show, Besides people love watching babies grow, especially multiples as we saw from Jon and Kate Plus 8’s popularity.

That is why in my view, Nadya needs to write another letter to Oprah, Only this time she needs to let Oprah  know that she reconsidered having her kids on TV and  gives the OWN  Network first choice in making a  decision to produce and air  her show.

By having a show featuring the kids, there will be a very public watchful eye over them so that no  harm can come to them, In addition  Nadya or her  children will never have to worry  where their next meal will be coming from.. http://www.drlillianglass.com/